Sunday, February 15, 2009

Communal Bathing


Community Bathing

Naked
Bathing
Scrubbing
Shredding
Being
Seeing
Shedding
Cleansing
Together
Community
Peace
Respect
Safety
Knowing
History
Hands
Holding
Suds
Green
Hot
Tubs
Sweat
Dripping
Feet
Bare
All
Prone
Moan
Ground
Found
Dissolve
Dissipate
Remove
Renew
Re-you
Water
Salt
Pine
Wood
Steam
Breathe
Release
Men
One

Adam and Eve in the Garden of Weedin'


Adam and Eve in the Garden of Weedin

WOW! What are these things sticking out of Her chest?
What do they do?
Why are they there?
Are they for me to pull Her around with me?

Her body is so different, soft and strong!
Why does She to not have a pointing thing?
That shoots out yellow warm water?
Where does it come out?

Why does She have sideways lips
And lips like mine on her face?
What do you put inside those lips?
I wonder what kind of food She eats in there?

Humm. She is eating an apple!
God told me not to eat it!
Is She going to put it in Her other mouth?
No, She is eating it like everything else!

But God said not to!
Maybe since She is so amazing,
She does not have to follow God’s rules.
Maybe She is God in flesh.

Her eyes say so much.
I wonder if She can speak?
Maybe She just eats, walks and dances.
What is She and why did She come out of my rib?


She must be proof,
That what God says it true.
That God exists,
And God’s Voice is not just in my head.

She is evidence of God.
She is what I want to be.
She is here to show me,
How to be a man.




But, She is not a Man.
She is WOW!
That’s it,
She is WowMan!

I wonder if I am supposed
To ride Her like the elephant?
Or pet Her,
Like the tiger?

What do I do with Her?
Is She here for me?
Or am I here for Her?
Or maybe for each other.

That is why God
Had Her come out of my rib.
To let me know,
We are connected for Eternity.

Is She like the other animals?
For me to take care of?
Or She is special?
Yes, She is special.

I will protect Her,
From the other animals.
I will show Her,
All the good foods.

What if She is here,
To protect me?
What do I,
Need to be protected from?

God said to not eat,
From That tree.
She did,
And She is still perfect.

Should I eat from That tree?
Am I not Her equal?
No, I am to protect Her.
What if I cease?


If I am not,
To protect Her,
Is She here to protect me?
From What?

The tree,
Is She protecting me from the Tree?
No, I get it,
She is here to protect me from me!

I wonder if I can,
Touch Her.
Ooh, what is happening,
To my Thing?

It is turning red,
And growing,
And twitching.
What has She done to me?

Now I really, Want to touch Her.
What are those things?
And what do,
They feel like?

Do They bite?
Is That where
She shoots Her warm yellow water?
I hope not, it will hit me.

I wonder what,
Her Voice sounds like,
If She speaks.
Will it be like mine?

Does God talk to Her like me?
No, God probably does not need,
To Teach Her anything.
She already Knows.

One Year: 2.14.2009


One Year: 2.14.09

It was a snowy day in the mountains of southwest North Carolina. I had worked there as caretaker for only two months. I lasted longer than I thought. I had not been so abused and disrespected in my life as during those two months. I had finally had enough. I told the owner of the Glen Choga Lodge I was leaving. I packed up my van in the snow. He said, “Why don’t you stay the night since it is snowing so badly, and leave in the morning.”

I was tired and miserable but my gut said, in the infamous words of Eddie Murphy, “Tiptoe the fuck out!” But I felt bad for the old man; he was sick and I knew I was leaving him in a bad way. To show respect to the old jerk I decided to stay the night, “OK, I’ll leave in the morning.” I stayed the night, slept a little late in the morning and when I made it to the kitchen to heat up a cup of tea on the wood-burning stove, I saw the envelope with my name on it “Michael”. I opened it and read the check he made out to me, five hundred bucks short! I waited till he came out and before I could day a word, “I reckon you should make yourself scarce and get on out of here. You are not welcome here any more.”

“But what about my pay? This is off by $500!”

“I’ll get it to you at the end of the month, now get on out of here!”

“I want my money! I will not leave without my money!”

He made a call to the closest police department, Andrews Township about twenty-five minutes away. I heard him say to the officer on the phone, “Persona non grata”. My Spanish is weak but I knew what that meant. They arrived about thirty minutes later and we both told our sides of the story. I was escorted off the property minus $500 by the two officers. It was a Tuesday late afternoon when my van winded around the mountains toward Asheville. Everybody I met since the day I arrived in North Carolina told me, “You should go to Asheville, you will love it there. Lots of people just like you.” I had no plan, so Asheville would work for the next few days until I start heading north towards New Jersey, my default setting.

I spent a week in Asheville and felt insulted when I left that everybody thought I was just like them; they were a bunch of pseudo-hippies playing spiritual New Age gurus. I ran for cover and headed towards Boone, another place I was supposed to love. I did. When I left Boone, a few days later, I directed the van east towards the ocean thinking I would head north from there. Little did I know that the next five months were going to spent living and traveling out of my van, up and down the east coast of the USA. I learned a lot and experienced all kinds of stuff; some of which I would prefer to leave behind and did. Along the way, I met and became friends with some incredible people. Some of them have become Reiki students and I had the opportunity to share Reiki with many folks. I guess Virginia and North Carolina are not Reiki hot spots.

In those five months, I was fortunate to receive teachings from several great teachers. Two of them being Grandmaster T.K. Shih in Danbury, Connecticut and Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche in Charlottesville, Virginia. I slept in more than twenty-five different homes during this period, mostly arranged through The Couchsurfing Project. I happened to spend a great deal of time around university campuses and the students. The adolescent slut in me seemed to attract many sweet young things into my life to confuse and bewilder me; it worked. I managed to somehow not have sex with any of them. There is one that I regret that decision but that is another story that I won’t tell.

I was applying for jobs at Princeton and other universities along the east coast with varied responses and interest. I am not sure how, but I ended up on some kind of recruiters list for international work since I applied for a project in Liberia. I didn’t get the project in Liberia but was offered a position teaching English in South Korea. I said yes without much thought, maybe an hour or so. They called me a couple of days later, “Michael, if we paid you an extra 600,000 won per month, paid for your plane fare here and sent you to Japan to complete your work visa, would you come in two weeks instead of two months from now?” I thought about this for nearly two minutes, “Sure, I think I can do that.” Twelve days later with all my stuff stored and legal stuff rushed through, I was on a flight to Seoul-Incheon International Airport. I made it to my new room after 1:00am and unpacked most of my stuff, shaved and showered with cold water since I could not figure out how to turn on the hot water and went to bed after 3:300am to rest before starting work in the morning. That was July 16th, more than six months ago.

I get to bow many times every day now. I get to spend at least one chunk of time weekly at the local Jimjilbang, my other favorite thing about Korea next to bowing. I got involved in NaNoWriMo and wrote the bulk of a novel in one-month totaling over 55,000 words in November, and another 20,000 in December. And no, I had never written a novel or fiction before. I still have trouble identifying myself as a writer but besides teaching, sleeping, Reiki and meditation; I invest more of my time and creative energy into writing than anything else. I guess that makes me a writer? Or lacking in diverse activities.

I remember crying on my cell phone driving the mountains of western North Carolina talking to a friend with both joy and sadness about my episode at the lodge earlier that day. It was Valentines Day and I was a mess. In spite of myself, things have worked out better than I possibly could have dreamt up in a fantasy novel about a mysterious man traveler who ends up teaching English to Korean elementary kids while facilitating Reiki trainings on Skype with folks from three continents. I am glad that the powers that control the Universe have a more fruitful plan for my life than I do. If left to me, I am fairly certain I would still be sleeping in the homes of American college girls half-naked for the rest of my life, or till arrested for some awful act of disrespect on the soul and body of one of my hosts.

One year, twelve months and a pile of days, memories and miles. And who was it that said there is no God?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

When is it Enough?


When is it Enough?

When is it enough?
5000 years and counting
Deaths too many to count
But still counting.

How many tears have been counted?
Do they have stats on that?
Blood on the streets
And in the homes.

Children left,
No parents, no homes
Is being right worth it?
Do we count nights that they cry in bed?

We blame God,
The president,
The Terrorists. The Jews.
We can count on blaming.

Merton said we were,
“Guilty Bystanders”
Does that include me?
But I voted against the war!

How am I guilty?
Is it the sports machine I oogle at?
Maybe it is what I am not doing,
When was the last time I did anything to stop war.

Every war has its cause, right?
Isn’t that what they say?
Is money a reason? God? Oil? Mount Sinai?
What about a woman, is she worth the cost?

I want it to end.
I do not know how.
Or even if it can,
Now or tomorrow.

Is lost hope the crime,
That I am guilty of?
Is silent acceptance my B-52?
Is my special ops training called comfort?

Is it enough yet? 60 million plus in WWII.
Each day more families ceased,
Than The War on Terror in its entirety.
Who are the terrorists now?

Do terrorists own mirrors?
Can they sleep at night?
Do generals tuck their kids in cold winter nights?
Are Green Berets counting the blood left on our greens?

When did hard choices,
Translate into hearts hardened?
Security and safety,
Defined stealing it from others?

Is it enough yet?
When calculators can’t total
The causalities, the Souls
, the tears.
If not, when is it enough?